Mental health has always been a topic for a heated discussion, as much on the Internet as in daily life discussions. But not everyone has the ability to do so. Why so you ask? I do not have the answer for that either; but one thing I can tell you is that for me, being able to talk about one’s mental health state is a luxury and privilege. Before you get angry and disagree completely with me, let me make my point clearer.
I am from a South East Asian country, and from my experience growing up there fore 16 years, I can confidently say that there was not one time that the issue of mental health came up in ANY discussion. It was not until I came to the UK that I was introduced to the concepts of depression and mental illnesses without them being taken lightly. I was surprised to say the least. “Wow, people here are so privileged! They have time to think about this kind of thing!” – I thought to myself. I wondered, at the first instance, why this topic never really came up in any conversations I had with my peers or my parents in the past. Unfortunately, I never gave it a second thought and moved on, thinking that that was because the society here was so advanced and they ran out of things to be worried about and that was why they could afford to prioritise this (bear in mind that I was a 16 year old kid that just moved out nearly half the world away from for the first time). It was not until (probably) my third year that I really understood how important it was to be aware of mental health issues. I got informed and educated by so many of my wonderful friends, who either experienced these issues themselves or knew someone that was experiencing these issues. That was eye-opening; and this time, I gave this a more serious thought.
I talked to my parents, and they seemed really unfazed (I love my parents regardless!). They responded that “You are strong! You can always get through these things! Why are you worrying so much?“, and they went on to explain that they were aware of mental health issues, but it was unnecessary to think about that when you had so many other things to be concerned about. “True that!” – I responded and went on to have a pretty horrible two years finishing my undergraduate degree, bottling up my feelings and emotions that I, myself, considered irrelevant and unimportant. To this day, I still have a hard time trying to talk about my personal issues with anyone, because of the thought process that people definitely have more important things to think about and so do I. I do not have the time, or the energy to be drained out and spent on “thinking” about my mental health. It does not pay the rent, do the housework or do any of the university works for me while I have to juggle working different jobs.
Now that I think about that, despite being informed and educated so much on the importance of expressing how you feel and spending time self-reflecting , I still partly agree with that statement. As an Asian family, we avoid talking this kind of stuff because we want to focus on “more essential stuff”, like what job you are going to get, how much money you are going to earn or when you are going to get married. Because of that, I have built the ability to disguise my feelings and emotions and conceal my issues pretty well (not ALWAYS, but who is able to?).
Reading this far, you probably feel bad that I have never been enabled to discuss these things with other people, especially my parents. I do not feel bad, because everything has its pros and cons. I just think that it is, to a certain extent, that I never really had an outlet to discuss my issues and now I come to the acceptance that mental health issues are SO serious when someone else struggles from them, NOT me. Does that make me a strong person? Probably not. But it does make me appreciate conversations about mental health so much more. I am the kind of person who loves to help, and as the result, I enjoy talking to people about their issues and seeing whether I can give a hand in any way. I want to be educated more on this topic, because growing up in Asia, I am aware that so many people out there are in the same situation that I was in – not being encouraged to face their mental health issues, because they also obtain the toxic thought process that I have been having. Talking about your mental health state does NOT make you a weak person. Quite the contrary, it takes strength and courage to do so. So it IS okay to break down sometimes, it IS okay to cry your heart out and until your tears dry and it IS okay to vent on your loved ones when you are tired. We all face our issues differently, and as long as it is a healthy way of processing the issues, know that you are encouraged to do so.
Now back to the luxurious nature of being to talk about one’s mental health issues. The word luxury is negatively associated with something unnecessary at a great expense. Oxford dictionary defines the word as a pleasure obtained only rarely. Of course, talking about one’s own mental health issues is never a pleasure, but it is arguably the best away to get better. That is why therapy are available to support and guide you through your issues in a healthy way. However, it is rarely obtained, depending on the context we are talking about, It is undoubtedly that in Western countries and many developed Asian countries, there is a great number of available resources that can help you with your issues. On the other hand, many others often do not discuss this, or in certain cases, at all. It is, to a certain extent, unhealthy and dangerous, and that is why it is still a luxury for many people. I hope that someday, mental health can be looked at on a more serious note and not taken so lightly and made fun of and I hope that in the very near future, there will more available support for people with mental health issues all over the world. Not talking about your issues does not make them disappear or make you a strong person, it just does more harm than good.
I am aware that I am very lucky to be in the environment that mental health issues are brought upfront and there are so much support from everyone. And I am doing my best to inform and educate my loved ones, especially those I know are avoiding or ignoring this subject. And if you know someone like that, talk to them, check in on them and show them that you are there to support them. If you are in the UK and are struggling with mental health issues, please get in touch with organisations that can help you through this webpage. Remember that you are loved and you are enough. Now go and have a wonderful day!
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen." - Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
A Chaotic Soul 